Soap Opera
by Evanescent Espirit
Summary: Mainly a DGM drabble, ten years after the main storyline. After three years searching for Cross, Debitto comes home. He is surprised to find another child he didn't know about in his house. A misunderstanding is blown to hilarious proportions. DebittoXOC


**This is a stupid spinoff of one of mine and my cousin's roleplays on Gaia. **

**Kori is an Oc, as are the briefly-mentioned Mujaki and Mendo (If you have read some of my DGM stories, you'll know who Mujaki is. This is 10 years later.). We have -Man, Shaman King (Ren), and Reborn! (Basil) characters present. It is that stupid. **

**This story was a milestone for me: it was the first 'story' I ever finished. Since then, I've created one more. n.n'''**

**MirandaXTyki (Yes, crack, I know. I love crack.)**

**DebittoXOC**

* * *

Debitto opened the door to his apartment. It had been a long time since he'd been home, three years in fact.

"MOMMY! THERE'S A BURGLEMAN IN OUR HOUSE!" Ren screamed.

Kori ran out of the kitchen, armed with a butcher knife. She blinked, seeing who the 'burgleman' was. A smile spread across her face, and she dropped the knife. "DEBIIITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted as she ran to him and basically tackleglomped him.

Basil came out of his and Ren's room. "Mommy…" He blinked when he saw Debitto.

"MOMMY! WHY ARE YOU HUGGING THE BURGLEMAN?!?! HE'S GOT A GUN!"

Kori kissed Debitto, and kissed him _gooood_. "You've been gone so long~!"

"I missed you too." He kissed her back, and even _better._

"WHY DID YOU WANT THE BURGLEMAN TO COME BACK?!"

"Because he's my husband!"

The children looked utterly confused.

"Your daddy!"

Debitto did a double take. "Whaaat? When did this happen?"

"About…" Kori counted on her fingers. "Three years ago."

"…Oh." That was news.

Basil looked even more confused. "B-but I thought Tyki was my daddy."

"WHAAAAAT?! HE BETTER NOT BE!!!!"

Debitto missed the mischievous glint in Kori's eyes as she said, "Shhh, Basil, he's not supposed to know…"

Miranda, who lived in the apartment down the hall, walked by.

This is the awkward moment when Debitto pulled away from his wife. "KORI!!! Does Miranda know about this?!"

The clutz's ears perked. "Does Miranda know about what?"

"AH! Nothing, nothing! I mean, do you know that Debitto's back he's been gone a long time." Kori spoke a bit too fast.

"That this kid is Kori and Tyki's son, that's what!"

By the way, Ren and Basil are just sitting there. "She made the burgleman mad. Maybe he'll leave without taking our money." Ren whispered.

Tears welled in Miranda's eyes. "W-what? W-why?"

"Didn't think so." Debitto glared at Kori, who he had just moments before been liplocking with.

"N-now Miranda… Don't take… It was just a joke…"

Miranda ran off sobbing. "I KNEW I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH! I'M SO USELESSS! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!! WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GOOD HAPPEN TO ME INSTEAD OF JUST BAD LUUUUUCK!!!" she wailed.

By now, the doors all down the hallway were cracked so the occupants could see what was going on without being conspicuous.

"WAIT NO MIRANDAAAAAAAA!!!!!! IT WAS JUST A JOKE TO MAKE DEBITTO MAD! HONEST!" Kori chased Miranda down the hall.

"Heeeey… The burgleman was supposed to leave, not Mommy!"

"Mommy! The burgleman's looking mean at meee!" Basil whined. Though his mom by this time couldn't hear him.

A few seconds later, Kori ran back into the apartment and slammed the door like the hounds of hell were on her heels. She locked the door about 20 times, then ran and hid under the kitchen table.

A few seconds after that, Tyki walked through the door. "KORI! Why is Miranda sobbing her eyes out on our bed and moaning your name?!"

Debitto glared at Tyki. "Why wouldn't she? The truth is out now!"

"Huh?" Tyki blinked.

"I mean, now she knows that this kid is yo-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP DEBITTO!!"

"Mommy said a bad word!" Basil said in shock.

Ren, meanwhile, clapped. "Tell the burgleman, Mommy! Kick his butt out of here!"

"REN don't talk like your father!"

"WHO, TYKI?!" Debitto growled.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Tyki exploded.

More applause from Ren. "Tyki, kick out the burgleman before he steals our money!"

"IT WAS A JOKE!!!" Kori cried from under the friggin table.

"What are you talking about?!"

Debitto explained. "This thing is you two's child!" He guestured to Basil.

"Hey! I'm a person, Burgleman!" Basil corrected.

"NO HE'S NOT! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Tyki shouted.

"That's what the kid said, and she agreed!"

"I WAS KIDDING! DEBI, YOU'RE HIS FATHER! TRUST ME! YOU CAN ASK LULUBELL! SHE HAS DNA TESTS!"

Tyki walked over to the table and pulled Kori out from under it. "You prankster. Think about things BEFORE you say them, idiot. NOW GO AND EXPLAIN IT TO MY WIFE."

Kori nodded, then ran to the door. When she tried to open it, it didn't and she slammed into it. "Urm…" She reached up and unlocked all twenty locks, _then_ ran pell-mell to Tyki and Miranda's apartment.

"… So, that was a joke? THAT WAS A FUCKING _JOKE_?!?!"

"You're supposed to kick the burgleman out, not Mommy!" Then Ren picked up on the wording, and howled with laughter. "You talk like Mujaki-san and Mendo-san!"

Debitto looked cross. ((--NO PUN INTENDED. REALLY.)) "I am going to hurt that girl so bad…"

"You've been gone three years. What else would you expect from her? That's the way she shows affection." Tyki explained.

"Great. Now you're defending her!" But Debitto couldn't help but remember how it was like to have her in his arms again after so long, and how he could _feel _how much she really did care about him, radiating from her like ocean waves. He couldn't help but smile.

Tyki leaned in closer, shock on his face. "… Are your cheeks a little redder than normal?

Are you… _blushing_?!"

"SHUT UP!" Boot to da face! Or, rather, _through_ the face. Tyki didn't want to touch him right now. xP

"Is the burgleman ever going to leave?!" Ren complained.

"No, I won't do that again." Debitto smiled. And yes, Tyki had been right…

**~End~**


End file.
